Loves Won and Lost
by GoddessofSnark
Summary: Kem thinks about her relationship with Carter.


Disclaimer: Don't own them, if I did, things would be much different now.  
  
A/N: If you're Carby, turn back now, this is a KEM fic, get it? So with that said, don't flame me over it. (  
  
It was so cold out, here, how could he stand this cold? I don't know how anyone can stand it. After years of the warm humid weather that was the Congo, being here is such a sharp contrast. It's still humid, but it's cold. It's downright freezing here, and he acts like it's nothing, he's wearing a light coat over top of his scrub top, while I'm here wearing four layers, and I'm still freezing. Thank god his house is so warm though, it's a mercy, having this nice warm house all to myself, while he works all day.  
  
He refuses to let me do anything, he claims that he doesn't want anything to happen to the baby. I'm kind of happy getting pampered like this though, it's a nice change of pace, it's something new. I've worked so hard for so long, and now I get a break, I get a chance to relax; I get a chance to work on things from more of an administrative point of view. Things are going so well out there, and it's not as bad as I thought, being away from all of it.  
  
Not that I don't want to go back, it's become my home, but somehow, this place is my home as well, there's something about being with him that I love. I've seen the way that his coworkers look at me, I'm the intruder, I'm the one that doesn't belong, I can sense it in them, I see the way they look at me. But I feel so at home with him, I don't care if they never warm up to me, I have him, and that's all that matters, I have him, and I have my baby.  
  
We're so happy together. Some of his coworkers have noticed that, some of the others can tell that we're happy. The redhead, Weaver I think her name is, she just had a baby, and she's been alienated for her choice of relationships as well. She knows what it's like to be waiting for a baby, to finally be happy with the one that you're with, to finally have the one that you just know is the one, the one that you love, the one that you don't want to let go.  
  
That's John to me. John is the one that I love; I knew it from when I first met him almost six months ago. It didn't take long for us to fall in love with each other, totally, completely. We're the ying to each other's yang, we're happy together. He's told me about his past loves, and I've shared mine. Tales of heartbreak, of loss, of those that we once had, tales of those that slipped away. And as we shared those tales, we realized how similar we were, how much we loved each other.  
  
He told me about his Abby, the one that he had left behind, the one that he broke up with because of me. And I told him about my Alex, the one that had left me, when I went to the Congo. I've met Abby, but he never met Alex. And I can see it in her eyes, that she still loves him. But he told me something about them, about how he wondered if he and Abby were right for each other for 23 hours of the day, and how in that 24th hour he'd realize that he'd been thinking of her for all the other hours of the day, and that it just felt right. But now, he realized that maybe they weren't were right for each other, and that he and I were.  
  
I told him all about Alex, the one that couldn't understand why I wanted to do this with my life, I told him all about how I loved what I did, and how Alex just couldn't see that. And he could understand what I've been through, we've both loved and lost, we've both thought we loved someone, only to realize that things could have been so much different, so much better, had we never even started seeing that person that we left behind.  
  
I love him though, and he loves me. You can see it in him, that he'd never go back to Abby, not after me, just like I would never go Alex, not after all I've been through. But hopefully we won't have to go back to anyone, because now we have each other. We love each other, we're happy together. We've both loved and lost, but now, for once, after the baby, after all we went through in the Congo together, we've loved and won. 


End file.
